Man of 1,000 Thoughts: Your Sadness
Somebody asked me if I was going to shower today. “Of course I am,” I thought, and so I said it. But it got me thinking. They asked me as if I had a plan to do it. As if I had this masterplan that I had concocted the night before to shower at the specific time the next day. Obviously I ended up showering today, as I do everyday. The whole concept of the question confused me because it presented the idea that people actually plot this crap out. What kind of sick freak designs their entire day to the point where they know when they’re going to do those kinds of things? We’re talking about some real psychopaths here. I understand there are varying levels of organization and some people have “important” things organized in their day and let the other things fly, but if I ever even got to the point where I thought about when I was going to shower during the day then I’d stop doing this whole life thing. If I’m going to know what’s going to happen every single day of my life, why am I going to live it? What’s the point? I’d rather be homeless; every day would be a new adventure. Look, life is already unsurprising enough as it is. When is the last time something happened to you that shocked you? I mean something that legitimately caught you off guard, and something that you had to sit and think about after the fact because it left you with a feeling you don’t usually feel.
There are people who save their meal swipes for specific days. At the beginning of the week they know how many they’re going to use on every day of the week. These people are going to die. You can sense the boredom seeping through their skin and blasting you in your fun. Eventually, it’s going to become too much and they will pass on to the next life, where they will be just as intentionally uninspired and miserable. I don’t know what I’m eating for lunch in twenty minutes. I don’t know how I’m getting to work in an hour. I don’t know where I’m sleeping tonight, and I’m not thinking about it throughout the day. Some people might find that irresponsible or immature, but to them I say I’m smarter than you and you’re losers. Why are you losers? Because your life is already completed and it sucks.
